BALANCE & STRUGGLE
Struggle is a key ingredient for flourishing. Striking the right balance is a challenge for every Dad. You don't want your child to be 'soft' but you also don't want your child to suffer. Suffering is not the same as struggling. Struggling is a source of growth, suffering is a source of pain.
When it comes to responding to situations as a parent we tend to do one of two things;
1. Do what was done to us
2. Do the opposite of what was done to us
If what you experienced as a child wasn’t good, then repeating the pattern OR doing the opposite is equally dysfunctional.
Here are some examples of the dysfunctional extremes:
When it comes to responding to situations as a parent we tend to do one of two things;
1. Do what was done to us
2. Do the opposite of what was done to us
If what you experienced as a child wasn’t good, then repeating the pattern OR doing the opposite is equally dysfunctional.
Here are some examples of the dysfunctional extremes:
|
One Pole
Always emotional
Loudly rage Always Rigid Volatile Always Around Impulsive Rigid Beliefs Too hard |
Other Pole
Never emotional
Silently withdraw Too Permissive Docile Never Around Slow to respond No Beliefs Too easy |
You should strive for balance and versatility in the way you model and respond as a dad. This will show your children how to work through problems and cope with struggle. Don't be fooled by the ghosts of your childhood.
Seek balance and become a heroic role model by breaking a cycle of dysfunction.
REFERENCES
 
Friel, J. and Friel, L. (1999)
The 7 Worst Things Good Parents Do, Deerfield Beach: Health Communications |
 
Gaffney, M. (2011)
Flourishing, Dublin: Penguin |