COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS
It's easy and damaging to make these mistakes consistently. If your child is sharing their feelings with you, don't cut them short.
These blockers will end conversations prematurely. Remember that your role is not to have the answer but to help THEM deal with THEIR feelings.
There is a connection between how kids feel and how they behave. Often words don’t match the behaviour. This means something is going on and it’s up to you to focus and listen for the feelings behind the words. Don't jump into an approach that is unhelpful and does not honor what your child is truly feeling and trying to communicate. This is where empathy comes to the fore in the way you listen and respond.
Here are the most common communication blockers to look out for as a Dad;
These blockers will end conversations prematurely. Remember that your role is not to have the answer but to help THEM deal with THEIR feelings.
There is a connection between how kids feel and how they behave. Often words don’t match the behaviour. This means something is going on and it’s up to you to focus and listen for the feelings behind the words. Don't jump into an approach that is unhelpful and does not honor what your child is truly feeling and trying to communicate. This is where empathy comes to the fore in the way you listen and respond.
Here are the most common communication blockers to look out for as a Dad;
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Denial of feelings
“Don’t be stupid, I’m sure that…” “They didn’t mean to…” “Don’t be so sensitive, it’s only…” |
Soap Box
“Look, sometimes when…” “Life is filled with…” “The biggest challenges are often…” |
Pity
“I am so sorry that…” “You poor thing, I can’t believe…” “It’s not fair that…” |
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Changing Subject
“Let's get an ice-cream…” “Did I tell you that…” “Anyway, on the weekend…” |
Amateur Psychoanalysis
“It’s probably likely that…” “The reason you would respond like this because…” “When people talk in that way they intend…” |
Advice
“Well what you should do is…” “I recommend that you…” “I know how we can fix your problem by…” |
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Questioning actions
“Why didn’t you…?” “Exactly what did they say?” “What were you expected…” |
Defense of the other person
“They probably had a really bad day.” “He would never do that.” “I think you need to take a step back.” |