GRATITUDE
Gratitude is an emotion that has powerful and transformative value. Gratitude is an anchor point of thanks and appreciation for what one has or is experiencing in a moment of presence. Whilst gratitude is not a new concept, recent studies have illuminated that gratitude can be cultivated with huge benefits. Gratitude increases levels of well-being, happiness, increased energy levels, optimism, empathy and overall resilience. A key discovery is that the person who expresses gratitude, not the recipient, is often the greatest beneficiary.
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If you are able to embed gratitude as a fundamental feature of everyday then you will experience great benefit.
If you teach your child/ren to do the same, then they will benefit from this life long gift building their resilience, health and wellbeing. Everyday Steps1. Model Gratitude - Show them how it's done
2. Gratitude Rituals - Daily practices of giving thanks 3. Visual Gratitude - Display thankful reminders in the home 4. Explain Gratitude - Explain gratitude in context 4. Tangible Gratitude - The power of thankful letters |
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Model Gratitude
It must always start with you modeling gratitude for yourself and your children. Don’t miss an opportunity to say “thank you”, it costs nothing but is highly valuable. When you say it, mean it and describe it. Thank your child/ren for the way they did their chores. Thank the teacher for the special care they have provided. Thank your wife or partner publicly for their contributions. Be generous with your thanks not just for actions but for values in action – wisdom, creativity, curiosity, courage, bravery, persistence, integrity, vitality, humanity, love, kindness, awareness, sharing, loyalty, fairness, teamwork, leadership, forgiveness, humility discipline, appreciation, optimism, playfulness. Show and explain your gratitude daily, deeply and with detail.
Gratitude Rituals
Allocate a time each day to practice the ritual of gratitude. For some families dinner time works well, where each member can take their turn sharing with their family what they were most thankful for that day. Others options include having and writing in a gratitude journal each evening; having a gratitude conversation in the car on your way home from school; having a gratitude conversation when you are tucking your child into bed. Make it a daily habit. This important time to thankfully reflect builds positivity, optimism and resilience, even if it was a hard day. As a father it also gives you insights into what’s happening with your child.
Visual Gratitude
Communicate images and reminders that foster gratitude visually in your home. Display photographs or sayings that remind your family of people, events and experiences for which they are thankful. Hang a white board in your home and encourage your family to write daily messages on the board to either say thanks to each other or to share something for which they are thankful. Don’t limit the creativity – use color, magnets, photos, flowers etc.
Explain Gratitude
Help your child/ren understand the reason for gratitude. Explain to your child/ren why ‘thank you’ is important in different contexts. Help them recognize and be aware of the little things - a flower, a sun beam, a star, a smile that make up the world for which we give thanks. Explain how all people want to belong and feel cherished and that we all can all play a role in making that happen. Reveal to them the limitless personal wellbeing they can derive by understanding and practising gratitude.
Tangible Gratitude
With your child/ren create messages of gratitude that are tangible. Encourage them to write letters of thanks after a special event or to acknowledge a special person in their life. Sit with and show them the positive consequence of these behaviors. In the digital age, hand written notes, letters and symbols of thanks outlast and outweigh other forms of communication. They also provide a tangible reminder to another at times when they might really need it.
It must always start with you modeling gratitude for yourself and your children. Don’t miss an opportunity to say “thank you”, it costs nothing but is highly valuable. When you say it, mean it and describe it. Thank your child/ren for the way they did their chores. Thank the teacher for the special care they have provided. Thank your wife or partner publicly for their contributions. Be generous with your thanks not just for actions but for values in action – wisdom, creativity, curiosity, courage, bravery, persistence, integrity, vitality, humanity, love, kindness, awareness, sharing, loyalty, fairness, teamwork, leadership, forgiveness, humility discipline, appreciation, optimism, playfulness. Show and explain your gratitude daily, deeply and with detail.
Gratitude Rituals
Allocate a time each day to practice the ritual of gratitude. For some families dinner time works well, where each member can take their turn sharing with their family what they were most thankful for that day. Others options include having and writing in a gratitude journal each evening; having a gratitude conversation in the car on your way home from school; having a gratitude conversation when you are tucking your child into bed. Make it a daily habit. This important time to thankfully reflect builds positivity, optimism and resilience, even if it was a hard day. As a father it also gives you insights into what’s happening with your child.
Visual Gratitude
Communicate images and reminders that foster gratitude visually in your home. Display photographs or sayings that remind your family of people, events and experiences for which they are thankful. Hang a white board in your home and encourage your family to write daily messages on the board to either say thanks to each other or to share something for which they are thankful. Don’t limit the creativity – use color, magnets, photos, flowers etc.
Explain Gratitude
Help your child/ren understand the reason for gratitude. Explain to your child/ren why ‘thank you’ is important in different contexts. Help them recognize and be aware of the little things - a flower, a sun beam, a star, a smile that make up the world for which we give thanks. Explain how all people want to belong and feel cherished and that we all can all play a role in making that happen. Reveal to them the limitless personal wellbeing they can derive by understanding and practising gratitude.
Tangible Gratitude
With your child/ren create messages of gratitude that are tangible. Encourage them to write letters of thanks after a special event or to acknowledge a special person in their life. Sit with and show them the positive consequence of these behaviors. In the digital age, hand written notes, letters and symbols of thanks outlast and outweigh other forms of communication. They also provide a tangible reminder to another at times when they might really need it.
References
 
Robert A. Emmons (2013)
Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity, San Francisco: Jossey-Bass |
 
Christopher Peterson (2006)
A Primer in Positive Psychology, New York: Oxford University Press |
 
Daniel Goleman (2011)
The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights, Northampton: More Than Sound |
Useful links |