RAISING A RESPECTFUL CHILDEveryone wants respectful children. Respect indicates awareness, gratitude, empathy and compassion. Witnessing disrespect is always hard, particularly when you’re involved. Remember it all starts with you. For your kids to have and know what respect looks and sounds like, you need to show them.
Strategic Steps1. Model respect
2. Define respect 3. Show that respect can be both given and earned 4. Highlight and teach respect |
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Model Respect. Your kids learn more from what you do, than what you say. They will follow your behavioral cues. If you demonstrate respectful verbal and non-verbal behavior they will learn. Show them how you respect people, creatures, belongings, rules, your elders etc. It never hurts to explain why as well. Use examples and stories to help your children understand when and where respect is important.
Define Respect. Help your children understand respect by defining and explaining it wherever appropriate. Highlight good examples of respectful conduct or behavior, rather than pointing out negative examples. Provide definition to the importance of respect with regard to people, rituals, rules and belongings. Ensure that your kids know that their tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions can also be disrespectful. Discourage these signs of disrespect the same as you would inappropriate language and remarks.
Show that respect can be both given and earned. It’s often said that respect is something you earn. In some cases this is true. An even better lesson for your child is that they should give before they receive. To receive respect they should learn to give it, unless for an exceptional reason. If your children learn to give respectfully early in their lives then they will encounter less resistance from the world around them.
Highlight and teach respect. When your child is disrespectful, follow through with discipline - you need to correct the behavior - but take the opportunity to highlight and explain to your child why their actions were disrespectful. Ask them how they think they could act differently next time. And, don't forget to reward good, respectful behavior with an affirming acknowledgement.
References
 
Martin E.P. Seligman (2002)
Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, Sydney: Random House |
 
Christopher Peterson (2006)
A Primer in Positive Psychology, New York: Oxford University Press |
 
Alfie Kohn (1993)
Punished by Rewards, New York: Houghton Mifflin Company |