THE SUPER DEMANDING DAD
Symptom
Are you constantly pushing yourself and your kids to do and want more?
Definitions
Often extremely busy parents insist that their children must also be active every waking moment to get the most out of everything. It’s important to be active but balance is also important. Overextension can have a detrimental affect on you and your family on a physical, social and emotional level.
“We are both beneficiaries and victims of an economy fed by the relentless drive to consume - a condition that simplifiers sometimes call ‘affluenza.’”
If you look around you can see examples of disconnection in families where the focus is always outer-directed on producing, earning, spending, flaunting. Family interactions and relationships become focused on things, rather than connections that have depth and provide security.
Strategy
If not, make a change, simplify things and be realistic about what is a reasonable load and expectation.
To avoid hypocrisy make changes in your own lifestyle to reflect and show your children that you value them above all else. Then let your child know that you are concerned about them and look at ways to redress the imbalance. They will be relieved to receive such a powerful message of support.
Are you constantly pushing yourself and your kids to do and want more?
Definitions
Often extremely busy parents insist that their children must also be active every waking moment to get the most out of everything. It’s important to be active but balance is also important. Overextension can have a detrimental affect on you and your family on a physical, social and emotional level.
“We are both beneficiaries and victims of an economy fed by the relentless drive to consume - a condition that simplifiers sometimes call ‘affluenza.’”
If you look around you can see examples of disconnection in families where the focus is always outer-directed on producing, earning, spending, flaunting. Family interactions and relationships become focused on things, rather than connections that have depth and provide security.
Strategy
- Ask yourself if your child is balanced or are they strung out;
- Is your child healthy? (not getting sick regularly)
- Does your child have a social life and social skills?
- Does your child have adequate time to spend with the family?
If not, make a change, simplify things and be realistic about what is a reasonable load and expectation.
- Examine your own values
- Will 'more' make up for your lack of presence?
- Do your actions and choices reflect what you truly value?
- Model balance, model competence
- What makes sense to children is what they see going on around the - whatever you value is what they’ll value
- Display courage and commitment to values above consumption
- Discuss with your children cutting back on activities
To avoid hypocrisy make changes in your own lifestyle to reflect and show your children that you value them above all else. Then let your child know that you are concerned about them and look at ways to redress the imbalance. They will be relieved to receive such a powerful message of support.
Will 'more' make up for your lack of presence?
REFERENCES
 
Daniel Goleman (1995)
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, New York: Bantam |
 
Daniel Goleman (2011)
The Brain And Emotional Intelligence: New Insights, Northampton: More Than Sound |
 
Friel, J & Friel, L (1999)
The 7 Worst Things Good Parents Do, Deerfield Beach: Health Communications |