THINKING & BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT
All of us misbehave sometimes. It's normal. Often temporary behavior problems can be caused by a stress (eg. illness, change, death, divorce), however ongoing misbehavior patterns can become problematic, leading to poor choices and form into habits. Children (and adults) tend to continue a behavior when it is rewarded and stop a behavior when it is ignored. As a parent you need to guide your children's behavior and monitor your own.
When misbehavior occurs you have three choices:
It's vitally important to remember that behavior does not just happen. It is the act that reveals valuable information, when explanations will not. A popular misconception is that a situation causes our feelings or mood. However it is not an event or situation, but rather it is our interpretation of it, that causes our emotional reactions and subsequent behavior.
Behavior is affected by thinking. To understand behavior we need to understand the thinking. To effectively change behavior you need to change thinking. How you model thinking and behavior will impact your child/ren.
If you can learn to challenge your thinking you can change your beliefs (internal self-talk), feelings, actions and behavior. So can your child/ren.
When misbehavior occurs you have three choices:
- Decide that the behavior is not a problem because it's appropriate to the age and stage of development.
- Attempt to stop the behavior, either by ignoring it or introducing a consequence.
- Introduce a new behavior that you prefer and reinforce it through reward.
It's vitally important to remember that behavior does not just happen. It is the act that reveals valuable information, when explanations will not. A popular misconception is that a situation causes our feelings or mood. However it is not an event or situation, but rather it is our interpretation of it, that causes our emotional reactions and subsequent behavior.
Behavior is affected by thinking. To understand behavior we need to understand the thinking. To effectively change behavior you need to change thinking. How you model thinking and behavior will impact your child/ren.
If you can learn to challenge your thinking you can change your beliefs (internal self-talk), feelings, actions and behavior. So can your child/ren.
Visible Thinking
Visible Thinking is an area of education where great research at Harvard has resulted in some really useful strategies to better understand others. Aimed at educators, this is also something that is useful and applicable to the home environment.
There are many elements to visible thinking that can be explored but thinking routines provide the best starting point. The thinking routines are sorted under four key headings - Core, Fairness, Truth and Creativity.
Here are five routines that can work effectively with any age child or person in an appropriate context. They do not need to be applied exactly as suggested but can weave well into conversation or less structured settings:
There are many elements to visible thinking that can be explored but thinking routines provide the best starting point. The thinking routines are sorted under four key headings - Core, Fairness, Truth and Creativity.
Here are five routines that can work effectively with any age child or person in an appropriate context. They do not need to be applied exactly as suggested but can weave well into conversation or less structured settings:
Introducing Three Thinking ConceptsA Cognitive Behavioral Approach
How does your thinking affect your behavior? Self-determination Who is responsible for what happens in your world? Metacognition How are you thinking about your thinking? Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them. |
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